We have small fears and big fears. For example, some of us are not that excited about petting snakes, but we don't necessarily fear them, do we? Just a cautious reluctance.
Now skydiving - without lessons and a torn parachute big time fear. Big time stupid too.
Driving on Highway 39, cautionary fear. Booking three, five-minute rounds with Anderson Silva in a mixed martial arts match unmitigated fear and once again, stupidity.
So what else should we fear?
How about Sarah Palin running for president on the Tea Bagger ticket? That strikes unfettered fear in my mind and I'm not even an American! She's more dangerous than Georgie Bush and Cheney put together. No doubt if that crazy scenario ever came about, there would be consequences for us.
Closer to home. I fear Michael Ignatieff as a PM, not because he'd be a bad one, but it would signal the fact his party would be one step closer to another palace coup. Remember Dionne, Martin, et al?
He'd be a stopgap measure until Justin Trudeau decided he wanted the job by divine right and then well, you gauge your own fear factor.
Hey, that isn't a political preference statement. We should fear our current PM too, shouldn't we? I think that's what he wants us to do what with his obsessive compulsive controlling instincts. It's all kinda scary in the little PMO sanctuary these days. Unlike the Liberals, the Conservatives have no heir apparent (see above statement regarding control) unless of course, you see Stockwell Day or Billy Baird as leadership material and you have a short memory.
In today's political leadership thinking, if we say we really don't mind filling out a long-form census survey, or a long gun registry, we're Communist sympathizers.
By the way, what happened to those important business and political problems we used to have? Did they just go away last Thursday?
I fear that we're losing our small farmers in favour of corporate farms. We lose a part of our soul if we lose the farmer and only get a business in return.
I fear the next Macleans' magazine poll.
First it was Regina having the worst neighbourhood in Canada, our universities that suck, and Quebec being the most corrupt province.
What's next?
Well, maybe they'll fund a survey to find out what region is the redneck capital of Canada. That should help restore our nationalistic pride.
Next fear.
I understand that an adult-based séance evening in Moose Jaw was scrapped because some religious groups felt it wasn't proper. They feared something it seemed like a runaway Ouiji board perhaps? Anyway, the group séance as a community fundraiser was cancelled.
Last year their fundraisers held a haunted house evening but that was eliminated as a proposal for this year, because, get this, "It scared the children."
Well, duh isn't that supposed to be one of the concepts of Halloween and spooky themed adventures?
I can only say, c'mon overly protective parents and religious zealots, get with reality please.
Kids get scared. They're supposed to, it's part of their job. It's the parents' job to alleviate fears and turn the frightening experience into a lesson about life.
What happens when you learn that your kid is scared of Santa Claus or clowns? Eliminate Cirque D' Soleil and Christmas?
If these "do not frighten us or our children" zealots get their way, zombie movies get removed by the courts.
It just doesn't seem right.
Well, maybe not so bad. I hate zombie movies, actually. I'll let the courts banish them, except for the Three Stooges ones.
If this type of thinking prevails, we just might end up with Justin Trudeau as a prime minister, Sarah Palin as a president and not one single Dracula to knock the bejeebers out of us because some group in Moose Jaw thinks they and their children shouldn't be subjected to scary things.
Hey Moose Jaw, I've seen that plastic moose you've got outside your town. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Get rid of it.
Come to think of it, our Lignite Louie has a kind of fiendish grin on his face.
