I've been pretty lucky to have had mostly positive experiences flying. Not to say that there haven't been times where I could smell the unwashed hair of my neighbour, and that one time when I drooled on myself in my sleep while travelling to Europe with the school. But other than that, my flights have mostly gone well. And I don't think anyone saw me drooling.
Seriously though, I usually sit with interesting people. One time, I sat with a young doctor who had travelled the world with her husband. Another time I was seated with a bunch of young men travelling to the Minot Air Base. Once I travelled with a man who claimed to be an Olympic track coach and who gave me life advice that I'll never forget, though I haven't really listened to most of it (and it turns out I should have).
My point is: there are often super cool people on flights and I usually, somehow, get to sit with them. And being that I'm annoying (a journalist-in-training thing) I usually can get them talking.
There are also lots of other people on the plane, and after flying to and from St. Louis over the Thanksgiving weekend, I've noticed that there are always at least four of the same types of people on every single flight.
For example: The Facts Guy. This guy (or woman, this isn't really gender-specific) knows all kinds of garbage that most people will never want to know. And he wants to share it with anyone who will listen and, just as often, with those who aren't listening at all. The Facts Guy will loudly ramble on about the Wright brothers and the Zeppelins well beyond the point when a normally polite person turns away and puts on his or her headphones. The Facts Guy normally has a loud, odd voice, and he wants to impress you. For hours. Non-stop.
There's also The Canadian. If you've ever been on an American flight, you might know what I'm talking about. The Canadian is the woman wearing the earrings with beavers on them (not exaggerating). She isn't loud and demanding, and she will apologize if she accidentally bumps into you with her appropriately-sized carry-on luggage, even though it was not her fault. I always instinctively like the Canadian, and secretly covet her earrings.
Another gem: The Baby's Mother. There is a baby on every flight and the mother spends the entire trip freaking out in fear that her offspring might start squawking and draw the stink-eye from every person on-board. She sees the sighs and eye-rolls from those seated next to her and is on constant alert. She notices that the smile of the man in front of her fades a bit after he passes back the soother the baby chucked for the ninth time. The Baby's Mother knows that if anyone gets a whiff of a questionable scent, the blame falls on her and her child. So she spends the entire two-hour flight sniffing, playing, juggling and feeding her baby like it's an offensive time-bomb set to go off at any second.
My personal favourite is The Person Who Hates Babies and she's always sitting in close proximity of a child. I once witnessed The Person Who Hates Babies surrounded by three infants, two of whom screamed/stunk the entire flight. That unfortunate girl shrunk low into her seat, watched Will Ferrell movies on her iMac, and sent the aforementioned stink-eye in all directions. Hilarious.
To conclude, flying is awesome. Except for taking off, landing and being in the air. But the socializing aspect is great. Plus all the labelling people into neat, little categories is fun. Or maybe that's just me?
Tonaya hopes you all noticed that she worked her column's title into the end of this week's edition. She's been trying to do that for ages. Kind of cheesy? Let her know by e-mailing her at [email protected]. You can also follow her @tellemarr on Twitter, where she has been known to say nothing of importance.
