Forty-year-olds playing major professional sports have almost always been hangers-on, once-great players merely playing out the string.
Let's cut to the chase and meet the exception - Mariano Rivera of the New York Yankees.
Rivera, a Panamanian, will be 42 years old this November and he is still Major League Baseball's best, most reliable, and certainly most amazing - considering his age - relief pitcher. This year, the ace closer saved 44 games for the Yanks, the fourth-best total of his career.
Let's also cut to the chase and zero in on why Rivera has defied every age-related athletic assumption and continued to mow down hitters and save victories for the Yankees, who are chasing yet another World Series title: The baffling "cutter."
Rivera's "cutter" - a cut fastball - is the only pitch he throws. Normally, a one-pitch pitcher has about as much job security as a hockey player who goes over on his ankles, but that cutter is so dominating, so infuriatingly hard to hit, that Rivera has racked up 603 saves since 1996 - the most in baseball history. Hardballmechanics.com says that the break on Rivera's pitch is "so late, the batter must commit to swing before he knows where it's going. That late break is a product of maximum rotation and just the right finger pressure on the ball."
Rivera throws with such ease of motion that his right arm seems like it could throw 95 MPH cutters for another 10 years. When he finally decides to retire, he will have established a saves' record that will stand forever.
Perhaps his longevity is due to his late start in baseball. Rivera was almost out of his teens before a scout noticed him, and even then he was a shortstop who pitched in an emergency one day when the regular starter didn't show up. He underwent elbow surgery at the age of 23 and the Yankees thought so little of him, that they didn't even protect him when the Florida Marlins and Colorado Rockies held drafts to stock their expansion teams.
But something clicked for Rivera in 1995. He discovered his cutter. He's been dominating hitters ever since. And will he be a first-year inductee in the Hall of Fame? Automatic, just like that reliable cutter.
Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: "Of all the soccer teams to be fined because fans threw cups of excrement, why did it have to be Cologne?
Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel recalls a couple of his favourite quotes from legendary Clemson coach Frank Howard:
- "I retired for health reasons. The alumni got sick of me."
- When the school president asked him to keep his salary quiet: "Don't worry, I'm as ashamed as you are."
Comedy writer Jerry Perisho: "Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick was removed from a recent game with a hand injury. Every time Michael Vick suffers an injury, a party breaks out at the city dog pound."
Tweet of the week from Steve Elling of CBS sports: "With playoff loss by Hunter Mahan, the four Golf Boys still winless since video came out. Finished Oh, Oh, Oh-for-the-entire-summer."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "Dustin Johnson says he isn't mad that Tiger Woods stole his caddie. He is just glad he doesn't have a wife."
RJ Currie of sportsdeke.com: "An Edmonton woman is reportedly suing Kraft for $100,000, alleging one of their products caused her to suffer 10 minutes of depression. In a related story, a Toronto man has launched a $600,000 suit against Brian Burke for one hour of watching the Leafs play."
Currie again: "Canada stormed back late to tie Japan in their final game at the World Cup of Rugby. Surprised Canadians responded with, 'What's rugby?'"
Jeff Schultz, Atlanta-Journal Constitution: "(Derek) Lowe didn't quite provide $15 million worth of clutch. But given that he is now 9-17 with a 5.05 ERA, maybe there's a chance the Braves at least qualify for federal disaster relief."
Headline in the San Diego Union-Tribune, on the site of the next NHL Winter Classic outdoor game: "Philly fans ... snowballs ... did anyone really think this through?"
Packers tight end Tom Crabtree, via Twitter, watching Bears fans as the team bus exited Soldier Field after Sunday's win: "Sad to see all these folks in Chicago missing every finger except the middle. I think they're trying to wave to us."
Fox's Terry Bradshaw, on the backlash after his criticism of Panthers rookie QB Cam Newton: "I've been ridiculed, insulted, I've been made fun of to the point I actually feel I'm still married."
Twins third baseman Danny Valencia, to the Minneapolis Star Tribune, on how he and teammate Denard Span - in separate vehicles - collided en route to the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport: "It was stop-and-go. I stopped, he goed."
And a good non-sports line to finish off, courtesy of Mike Bianchi in the Orlando Sentinel: "Andy Rooney is retiring from 60 Minutes at age 92. And, so, let's remember what Rooney once said: 'Vegetarian: That's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.'"
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