In Saskatchewan, success is not determined by a healthy economy, strong families or a bumper crop. In Saskatchewan, from Welwyn to Gravelbourg to Spiritwood to Gull Lake, the only thing that determines whether it's a good year or a bad one is whether the Green and White, the beloved Roughriders, are winning.
This year ... ouch. The watermelon lids worn by the fans are dripping like tears because the Grey Cup is but a pipe dream as the 2011 season approaches its midway mark. Heck, a playoff berth is far off in the distance as Saskatchewan has managed only one win in its first eight games.
For a team that has had .500 or better records every year since 2003, the 1-7 record through eight games hasn't cost them attendance-wise, since every game in Mosaic Stadium at Taylor Field is SRO, but it did cost rookie coach Greg Marshall and his offensive co-ordinator, Doug Berry, their jobs after a six-point loss to Toronto.
Wrote columnist Rob Vanstone of the Regina Leader-Post, with a clever choice of words: "With the foundation for success in cinders, the Saskatchewan Roughriders needed a "fire Marshall.'"
The old coach, Ken Miller, who moved upstairs after last year, is now the new coach. And he has his hands full right off the bat. The demoralized Riders must take on the hottest team in the Canadian Football League, the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, in back-to-back games - the Labour Day Classic in Regina Sept. 4 and then the Banjo Bowl in Winnipeg the next weekend.
Two wins over the Bombers would make Miller more popular in the Wheat Province than the Pil brewmaster and would put the Riders right back into the playoff picture. Two losses, however, and even a tiny dose of Rider Pride will be hard to muster for even the most diehard Saskatchewan fans.
The back-to-back games with the Bombers will tell the tale of the 2011 season for the Riders. If they win them both, it will be fairly obvious the 1-7 fault was all Marshall's. If they lose them both under Miller, well, a total crop failure probably wouldn't be as discomforting.
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "Major League Baseball has made its post-season schedule and has eliminated all the off days. Apparently they are trying to see if they can finish the World Series some time before Christmas."
Steve Simmons of SunMedia: "How long before NHL and Blue Jays players demand to be paid in Canadian dollars?"
Janice Hough of leftcoastsportsbabe.com: "Jacksonville Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio has announced he has now forbidden rookie hazing. I guess he figures playing in Jacksonville is punishment enough."
Simmons again: "Eric Tillman of the Edmonton Eskimos stopped being a football genius the minute Fred Stamps went down with an injury."
Comedy writer Jerry Perisho: "Keegan Bradley won the PGA Championship in a three-hole playoff win over Jason Dufner. That noise you heard was Las Vegas paying out nothing."
RJ Currie of sportsdeke.com: "A man in Angelholm, Sweden, was arrested after police learned he was handling explosive nuclear materials in his kitchen. Finally, a Swedish bomb story that doesn't involve the Sedins."
Gregg Easterbrook, ESPN.com: "Announcing his retirement, Phil Jackson declared, 'As Richard Nixon said, you won't have me to kick around anymore.' Nixon said this in 1962, six years before he was elected president. How long until Jackson comes back?"
Tigers pitcher Daniel Schlereth, to AP, on yielding Jim Thome's 600th career home run: "I felt kind of awkward. I didn't know whether to clap or what."
NBC's Jimmy Fallon, on the Red Sox winning all four series this season against their No. 1 rival: "So today S&P downgraded the Yankees to the Mets."
Headline at SportsPickle.com: "London 2012 adds demonstrating as a demonstration sport."
Reggie Hayes of the Fort Wayne (Ind.) News-Sentinel, on the latest Alex Rodriguez soap opera: "After a run-in with steroids and now gambling, A-Rod needs only an addiction-rehab visit to claim the modern athlete's Triple Crown."
Patriots coach Bill Belichick, to the Boston Herald, on social media: "I don't Twitter, I don't MyFace, I don't use Yearbook. I don't do any of that stuff."
Kevin Bull of the Detroit Free Press, after Real Madrid signed a seven-year-old: "Will they serve peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the team plane?"
Comedy writer Bob Mills, on why it may take a while for Tiger Woods' ex-caddie to write a tell-all book about him: "Ever see those itty-bitty pencils they're forced to keep score with?'
Janice Hough of leftcoastsportsbabe.com: "Abercrombie & Fitch is offering 'The Situation' money to stop wearing its clothing. Think the Giants can do that with Barry Zito?"
Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel: "Eli Manning says he is in the same quarterback class with Tom Brady? Yeah, sure, and Huey Lewis and the News are in the same rock and roll class as Led Zeppelin."
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