Enough of the extravagance. The entertainment, big business and sporting world has simply gotten out of hand. What the big shots and little shots receive in terms of payment for somewhat limited skill levels is becoming laughable.
If you believe baseball, football players, handsome and/or beautiful actors with so-so acting skills or CEO's are worth hundreds of millions of dollars because that's what the market will bear ... then read no further. This column is not for you.
I have never been a real big fan of the National Football League, the American version of the real game we play here in Canada. So the following rant is just a touch prejudicial, but not so much that it loses validity.
I was casually watching a couple of NFL teams do their regular Sunday battle when I was informed by one of the 83 colour analysts assigned to the game that a particular offensive lineman, who had only played in three games this year, was scheduled to participate in only 12 to 15 "snaps" in this game because he had been injured the month before so they were going to ease this 325-pound specimen into a regular rotation. But due to an injury to another offensive lineman that day, this poor beleaguered guy would have to be involved in all the offensive plays ... meaning about 35.
The game rolls out over 60 minutes. Forget the fact it takes over 200 minutes to get it done. The actual playing time is 60 minutes. But hold on now. Actual, actual playing time is more like 18 to 22 minutes. The other 40 or so minutes of "game time" is spent picking one another up off a heap, planning and plotting (huddles and sideline conferences), walking back to huddles and to the line-of-scrimmage or doing a soft-shoe shuffle after each play to let your fans know you are superior. The actual throwing, catching and carrying of the football absorbs 18 to 22 minutes. Time outs and commercials make up the rest of the 200 plus minutes.
Of course by having to play the "whole" game, the analyst meant that this 325 pounder actually had to play half the game because his team's defensive squad is on the field without him being involved for the other 30 plays.
So that means that he would be expected to be involved in about 10 minutes of heavy action over three hours. And yes, the action can be violent, but then he was supposedly trained over the past 10 years to be prepared for that. The other big guys are trying to get rid of you and you're trying to get in their way. That happens in our office every Tuesday when we try to put the paper together, but that's another story. Our dead lifts and vertical leaps are sad too!
So for this nine or 10 minutes of heavy lifting, the guy will make about $20,000 per game, and he'll be one of the poorly paid participants. Odds indicate that this young rich guy will, by the end of the season, be going out and buying not one or two, but probably three vehicles, a mansion, maybe some drugs and a pile of booze. He will have an entourage of three or more fair-weather pals who he will feel obligated to support and by the time he's 50, he will have declared bankruptcy according to NFL alumni statistics.
So do we go boo-hoo, or do we just shake our heads?
For me, I like to pay $45 for a ticket to a Roughrider game, watch the players be engaged in actual action for twice as long as their NFL counterparts (less time wasted between plays) ... guys who, by the way, are earning around $50,000 to $80,000 per season, not per game.
Or you can pay $400 for an NFL game ticket, watch 60 plays and marvel at the courage of the millionaire rookie who really answered the call and played a whole nine minutes.
Next week: How NHL stars make $10 million by playing in 43 second spurts.
OK, not really. We'll get on a sensible topic next week, I promise.
