This week I caught a rumour in the making at my school. Fortunately, I was able to intervene with the truth before it got out of hand and became something it wasn鈥檛.
It all started when I walked over to chat with a few junior high girls as they lounged near the school where a west wind whistled. I was wearing my usual garb for this time of year: two sweaters, a heavy coat, long underwear, thick pants, fuzzy gloves and a hat; my primary concern was to stay warm.
The girls controlled their shivers while wearing their usual garb for this time of year: jeans, that were little more than patches of cloth held together with scattered threads, thin hoodies (carelessly undone) socks, and flip-flops; their primary concern was to look good.
鈥淎ren鈥檛 you cold?鈥� I asked them through chattering teeth. OK, sure, maybe I feel the change in temperatures a little more keenly than other folks, but it was flippin鈥� freezing outside!
鈥淣ope, we鈥檙e warm,鈥� they answered. Questioning the truth of this statement I let them know it was -18 with the wind chill and told them they should dress more warmly. I hitched up my pant leg to show them what sensible people wear to stay warm when the temperatures plummet. They eyed the brightly coloured leggings I had revealed in stunned silence.
鈥淵ou actually, like, have pants on, under your like, pants?鈥� one finally asked, her face registering an interesting mixture of shock and alarm.
鈥淟ike, I think my grandpa calls this kind of thing鈥攍ike, long johns,鈥� said someone else. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 like, weird.鈥�
鈥淟ike, who wears stuff like that?鈥� whispered another girl to a friend.
Guess I was no different at that age (apart from the appalling over-use of the word like). I remember Dad forcing me to wear Stanfield鈥檚 thermal underwear all through school. Man, I hated them! None of the cool kids seemed to have 鈥榚m on 鈥� although, what did that have to do with me? I was never gonna be one of the cool kids anyway, long johns notwithstanding.
Anyway, this is where the ugly rumour comes into play. Later that same day I came around a corner in the school hallway to overhear a muffled conversation between two teens.
聽鈥淒o you know what happened outside at like, recess today?鈥� one asked in muted tones of disgust. 鈥淚 heard that Mrs. Toews was out there showing people her, like鈥�,鈥� he paused for dramatic effect, 鈥渦nderwear! Can you believe it?鈥�
聽鈥淭hat鈥檚 sick,鈥� said his friend, shaking his head in disbelief.聽
It was at this point that I bounded onto the scene with a cry of protest.
聽鈥淗ey!鈥� I yelled, startling them both out of a year鈥檚 growth. 鈥淵ou bet I was showing off my underwear 鈥� long underwear that is. Otherwise known as patterned leggings and perfectly acceptable articles of clothing. Wanna see 鈥榚m?鈥�
Lifting my pant leg once more, we all gazed at my ankle and the cheerfully checkered garment that had appeared.
鈥淥h, Mrs. Toews, you鈥檙e crazy,鈥� they laughed.
Thank goodness I dispelled that nasty rumour before it took hold, and was able to stay warm in the bargain. A win-win situation.
Give someone a smile this Christmas! Helen鈥檚 newly released books of humorous anecdotes are available at Amazon. Look for Prairie Wool Books or on her website at聽
