"Do the kids have sunscreen on?" growls the momma bear.
"Of course dear," I answer in quick reply
"And bug spray?"
"Absolutely. Of course they do, I have done this before." I give my best - I know dear smile.
"And what about you?"
"See you later dear." As I dash out the door with the kids in tow and the two forgotten bottles of summertime slop to apply later, I may be obligated to see to the safe and fulfilled supply of greasy glop applied in ample portion to each baby bear but I have reached the conclusion that I will have to just deal with a farmer tan and a growlee momma bear.
From a purely scientific point of view I can understand the dramatic necessity to hide from the sun and mosquitoes. From various forms of skin malfunction, cooked cranium for the foliar challenged, baked shoulders, red-back, white-hand marks from smartass friend, to malaria, westnile, north-nasties, east-ecoli, southern-sniffles, cooties, tail-swishing syndrome or wild arm flinging to smash that noisy little pest. Yes, summertime brings out the best in the sun-baked worker-types, sunbathing lake goers, and playing children on bikes. Unfortunately we became more civilized and realized all the pitfalls of going outside.
To that regard I would plead my case from a purely different side.
Summertime is for going outside.
GADZOOKS.
I know this may come as a shock to many but the Wii-Fit, agile finger poking of Facebook, PS2 or rerun movie time, are hardly a replacement for a walk outside, working in the garden with the kids, a horse ride, quad ride, flower picking, swimming or a whole torrent of other activities that we so desperately wish we could do when all molecular motion ceases on a cold Saskatchewan January day.
Nothing bothers me more than seeing a poor sun-deprived individual running into a store or across the parking lot to buy some form of junk with this look of fear on their face as they stare into the sky avoiding the sunshine or running from those stinking little flying vampires.
I know, I know, sarcasm is a horrible thing, as I have mentioned before, but I can't help myself. There are summertime activities and winter activities. Rather than playing Farm-ville, why not take a walk and see a farm? Instead of staring at a picture of some far off land on the Internet, how about going outside and creating your own pictures? I am truly puzzled.
In our little bear cave winter, things such as video games are packed away for either a rainy day or the next snow. Example: Baby Bear: "Can we play video games?"
Momma/Cleotus: "No."
Baby Bear: "Why not?"
Momma/Cleotus: "Because it's sunny outside, go do something."
Baby Bear: "There's nothing to do."
Momma/Cleotus: "Then sit on the lawn and be bored."
Usually at this point Baby Bear moves off in disgust, but an amazing thing occurs, they sit on the lawn for nearly 12 seconds and then they are off playing, riding a bike, building a fort, pretend hunting, building a better gopher trap, playing with animals, etc. etc. etc.
So why the outburst about sunscreen and bug spray?
Well, it is my firm belief the disgusting feeling of a coated-oily-stinky body combined with the different pieces of nature that insist on sticking to you once you have applied all the ridiculous goop have discouraged us from summer worship.
I am happy to report though, that this Daddy Bear still refuses all such niceties and have tried to help the baby bears live a goop free life, though to date, the monarchy stands firm on application of said goop. My red neck and farmer tan firmly entrenched, I will live to be 100 and will collect all the proper problems associated with my stubborn attitude.
So if you find yourself or close friends and family are pasty white, dab a little goop, or (at my recommendation) not apply, and find your way to the door and take a look out there, a little fresh air, even if it smells like off, is still better than the stale fan air of your computer.
