With the festive season now fully upon us - almost - let's take a look down a few wish lists that have built up over the past year.
A wish from the RCMP:
Dear Santa. Please give all of us a safe holiday season and keep the monkeys at home who decide that drinking (or doing drugs) and driving is a cool and good thing to do.
A wish from drivers all over:
Dear Santa. Please remind the owners of trucks who put sleds in the box that their headlights are now out of alignment and are blinding us all the &%#@ time. We are flashing you for a good reason! PS. Also turn off the fog lights.
A wish from the provincial NDP:
Dear Santa. Please bring us a leader who won't alienate so many people and will help to lead us to an election win. Oh, and please churn up a couple of good scandals that we can use in the next election.
A wish from business people in our town:
Dear Santa. Please remind our residents that shopping at home is the best way to help keep it alive. Our staff don't live in Saskatoon or Regina.
A wish from Santa:
Dear Everyone. Please be careful what you wish for.
A wish from Brittany Spears:
Dear Santa. Remember me?
A wish from the Saskatchewan Party:
Dear Santa. Please don't churn up anything really bad in the next four years.
A wish from sledders:
Dear Santa. Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!!
A wish from homeowners with triple driveways:
Dear Santa. Let it Snow - somewhere else, Let it Snow - somewhere else, Let it Snow - somewhere else!!!
A wish from golfers:
Dear Santa. Please knock down my handicap to half what it is now and let me get great tee times all season long. P.S. Please don't let my skinny little legs discover any poison oak/ivy or other such inconveniences this year.
A wish from Charlie Sheen:
Dear Santa. O.K., O.K., last year I wanted to be in the headlines and you got me what I wanted. Don't get me anything this year-I can't afford any more!!
A wish from farmers:
Dear Santa. All we want for Christmas is perfect seeding weather, high prices and a long fall. Too much?
A wish from the weatherguy:
Dear Santa. Just once, let me be close on forecasting the weather past the end of my nose. Just once. Is that too much to ask? Please?
A wish from Santa (he's allowed two. After all, it is sort of his day)
Dear Everyone. I know if you have been naughty or nice. I hope you have a great Christmas anyhow!
P.S. A little Santa factoid: to deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to make 822.6 visits per second, sleighing at 3,000 times the speed of sound. At that speed, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame instantaneously.
