The other day Brad Wall shared a post from Jason Kenney. That, in itself, isn鈥檛 much to talk about. The former premier of Saskatchewan and the current premier of Alberta are two peas in a conservative pod. But Kenney, who grew up in Saskatchewan and went to school at Wilcox (Woollerton, pffft!) has something of an attachment to the flatland.
And it was Kenney鈥檚 post of a video by 鈥淨uick Dick McDick,鈥� which Wall shared on Facebook on Jan. 10, that had me in stitches. 鈥淭his Sask farmer is a beauty!鈥� Kenney said.
I鈥檓 pretty sure it was Kenney himself who shared it, not one of his communications staff in his name. No underling would dare risk his job for posting a video from someone whose other videos could be considered off-colour or risqu茅. No, it had to be Kenney.
The video was on the federal carbon tax. Quick Dick, as it were, explained in his rapid-fire manner, how 鈥淥ur glorious federal government, in all their majesty, has convinced Canadians that the best way to reduce greenhouse gas emissions is to put on a charge on carbon. Our federal government鈥檚 solution to pollution is taxation???鈥�
He then used 鈥渁 little bit of a twist鈥� and show how Canada鈥檚 portion of global greenhouse gasses equates to a few cups of oats compared to a global five-gallon pail. (He has a thing for these pails, as shown by another video.) He then explains how perogies and sausage equates oil and gas, and the taxation of farting. It gets much, much better from there, and that was pretty good as it was.
I had to see more, and over the next few hours watched the other 20-odd videos he posted on YouTube, including 鈥淧rotestor Diets.鈥� It was very similar in theme to several columns I鈥檝e written about hypocritical protestors. You can find him by entering 鈥淨uick Dick McDick鈥� in the YouTube search bar.
I shared both in short stories on Pipelinenews.ca and they quickly got plenty of views, and continue to do so as I type this. It鈥檚 largely because the raw, tremendously politically incorrect satire is so biting, you鈥檇 think he was chowing down on the aforementioned perogies and sausage.
I had to track this guy down and interview him. Putting out a call on the Pipeline News Facebook page, I was soon contacted by Quick Dick McDick, himself.
His email said it all.
鈥淗ello Brian,
鈥淚 can鈥檛 tell you how many times I have sat on the throne reading Pipeline News. I enjoy all your articles!鈥�
We talked for a half hour that night. Turns out that McDick, who would prefer not to reveal his real name at this time, is originally from around Tuffnell. Right after high school he went to work in the oilpatch in Brooks, Alta., and then a few years later found himself up in Grande Prairie, Alta.
He spent the last seven years as the operations manager for an oilfield trucking outfit, herding about 60 workers in a company that grew from three trucks to 36. They chased frac crews all over the place, supplying them with liquid CO2, N2 and chemicals. But recent years have been hard, and it wasn鈥檛 a lot of fun when it came to trying to fight for every dollar.
鈥淭hat NDP turned things upside down in that province,鈥� he said to me. McDick had 鈥済otten tired of all the garbage.鈥�
鈥淚t鈥檚 really turned into a disaster,鈥� he added.
The intensity of his life was getting to him. 鈥淵our phone never stopped, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.鈥�
And when he came home, he noted, 鈥淎ll of a sudden, your phone is dead.鈥�
After 19 years in the patch, he had had enough and wanted to come home. He has a half section near Tuffnell that he rents out. After spending a summer clearing his head by putting over 25,000 kilometres on his Harley, touching every province and territory that had a road leading to it, he got back to the farm.
These days he helps two guys out as a hired hand, and it sounds like he couldn鈥檛 be happier. Well, maybe if he had a Mrs. McDick? He鈥檚 single, no wife, no girlfriend, no kids, but he鈥檚 got lots of females (heifers) following him around every day. I suggested he do a piece on mail-order brides.
鈥淚 found happiness immediately,鈥� he said, upon his return to the farm life.
As for the Quick Dick McDick persona, that started from videos done on Snapchat. For a while, he was doing one a day, but on Snapchat, they would only stay up for a day. So in mid-December, he started posting on YouTube in a big way. The first video was 鈥淭rains vs. Pipelines.鈥� That one saw 600,000 views on Facebook, which is ironic, because McDick doesn鈥檛 even have his own Facebook account.
Since then his videos have featured 鈥�5 Gallon Pail,鈥� 鈥淧ropane East,鈥� 鈥淐offee Row,鈥� 鈥淪askatchewan Shops鈥� and 鈥淪askatchewan Farm Trucks,鈥� to name a few. But the best, by far, have been the 鈥淔ederal Carbon Tax鈥� and 鈥淧rotestor Diets.鈥�
I see he just posted 鈥淎gricultural Olympic Training,鈥� which is also a hoot.
鈥淚 can鈥檛 believe how it took off,鈥� McDick said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a comedy channel, where you touch on this sensitive stuff.鈥�
鈥淚鈥檝e finally taken the time in my life to look at stuff and say, 鈥業t鈥檚 hilarious!鈥欌��
No kidding. Well, okay, lots of kidding. Quick Dick McDick is the most Saskatchewan thing to come to humour since Corner Gas. The difference is he鈥檚 crass, brutally hilarious, and has no sacred cows except perhaps the ones he feeds.
In other words, he鈥檚 perfect.
Brian Zinchuk is editor of Pipeline News. He can be reached at [email protected].
