Empty chairs at the dining table are even more obvious at this time of year. Even spaces empty for years tug a little harder at the heart as traditions continue and families grow without special members.
It is a time when I embrace some people a little longer fearing I won't have another calendar of seasons to share with them. I find myself looking back at those I've lost over the past year hoping I won't be caught unexpectedly with more losses in the upcoming months.
I know people will pass away, but I hope for miracles and put aside a few dollars to help fight cancer, illness and heart disease. I wish for a world without violence and impaired driving.
This week around the globe there were tragedies and killings and there is deep grief. Sometimes the holidays amplify the grief and there are few moments that are merry or happy.
Shopping malls and even grocery stores can be stressful, parking is a problem and the world seems louder and crazier. It is easy to be swept into the tide of insanity surrounding what I wish was more rooted in the "peace on earth" message.
I've tried many ways to find peace of mind, peace in my home and peace in my community over the years. I do yoga to breathe more deeply and relax bringing a little peace to myself.
I hope my children see how important it is for me to love them and I think they realize it can be challenging at times to create a home where a family shares meals and isn't rushing in every direction every afternoon and evening.
I wish I could avoid getting so caught up in giving gift,s but I find myself wanting to spoil my children, step-children and grandchild. I know there will be moments of stress during the gatherings and days surrounding and there will be times I will have to actively tell myself I have much to be grateful for. I also know there will be unexpected smiles and people I will want to hold onto a little longer and a little tighter.
There will be stories I want to hear and linger over and there won't be enough time to get answers to all of the questions I have. The word peace is a good one for me to focus on right now - peace in hearts and minds, peace in relationships, peace in homes and neighbourhoods and peace in this messed up beautiful world of ours are my greatest wishes.
