Â鶹´«Ã½AV

Skip to content

Deep green: facts about living in Saskatchewan

Facts about living in Saskatchewan: You need to be able to draw really straight lines in school to be able to draw the outer borders of our fair province, while properly explaining the reason for correction lines. Smiling Hank is the Devil.
GN201110309219988AR.jpg

Facts about living in Saskatchewan:

You need to be able to draw really straight lines in school to be able to draw the outer borders of our fair province, while properly explaining the reason for correction lines.

Smiling Hank is the Devil.

Alouette is part of a child's song, need I say more

You will be required to drive 110 kph in a raging blizzard, talking on a cell phone, setting the GPS assist and drinking a Timmy's coffee, while telling your friend on the phone that it's "kinda windee today".

Lions are meant to be kicked around.

Bombs that are blue are not only ridiculous but just plain dumb; additionally, they do not swagger.

God made lakes to fish in; all other activities are coincidental.

Eskimos are a proud indigenous people who make excellent igloos and have a rich cultural heritage. Their igloos are not pointed at both ends so they have no reason to play games that include pointed balls.

Riders of the east? Please

Cows, buffalo, pigs and other miscellaneous farm critters including farmers, daddy bears and baby bears pass gas into the environment. It's a fact, not a negotiation.

Does anyone really care what's happening in Toronto?

Tigers are cats; putting the two words together only suggests you may be the learning impaired child of Toronto.

Most importantly: You will bleed green, breathe green, wear watermelons on your head and not be considered crazy, willingly be the 13th man, be married in green jerseys, consider green God's greatest gift to Saskatchewan, know the name of every player past, present and who they should have in the future. Yes! You will love the Riders!

While some people will find themselves imports to this glorious province, there is hope for you. With a little practice, a great deal of determination and an entire province on your side for support, the above list will come easily. This glorious team will win the Grey Cup.

That is not a matter of opinion. It is a fact.

I am reminded of a story that has been passed along in our household of a horse pull that I think might be relevant. A local gentleman, well known as a cowboy, has always had a reputation for very well trained horses. His methods are occasionally considered harsh by some, but he has always had a special bond with his animals.

At the horse pull his black team of heavy horses had just pulled all they were worth in the final round. Given only a few seconds from the time of the stop of the pull wagon before the measure is made, every horse team is given a final chance to pull more. While many horsemen would holler, yell, crack whips or use other forms of encouragement , this man stepped up to his black team and went into a football huddle, one horse's head laid on each of his shoulders. Words were uttered and unheard and the crowd was quiet, quite literally wondering what he was doing.

He needed three feet to win, and after a quick moment he stepped back about 10 feet and firmly, calmly and loudly said "Pull, boys." To the surprise of a jaw-dropped crowd, those two horses dug in, leaned into their harnesses and gave him another seven feet and the win. His training abilities were never again questioned as being harsh or unproven. No animal gives that much to a man without real belief in their hearts and a respect for who they know to be their leader.

To the question of the Riders and their coaching change and whether it truly is the difference: a good team is only as good as the heart that's leading them. All the raw talent, courage and strength is for naught if you can't get the extra little bit to surface when your team needs it most.

Grandpa Miller may be that little spark that unites this team finally. The belief they can follow him to a win is instilled in him like no other coach before him and he doesn't need the whips, bellowing or strong arm to lead. So to the Riders: you have the right man standing in your huddle at that moment when you need a few simple words. It's time to lean in with only 12 games for the goal.

To quote a great cowboy, "Pull boys!"

push icon
Be the first to read breaking stories. Enable push notifications on your device. Disable anytime.
No thanks