Domestic violence.
Two words that are not pretty, not just in how they sound, but in the images they conjure.
Spousal abuse. Child abuse. Battery. Assault.
Those are even uglier words. They go with the others hand in hand.
And they are uttered, with some frequency, in this part of rural Saskatchewan, whether you want to believe it or not.
They are uttered by the police, by the media, by those running programs to try and curb it.
And by the victims.
But they are not uttered enough.
As long as people have been around, there has been domestic violence. It wasn't always called that, of course. That's the new term for an old problem. But as an action, it is as old as the human race.
The reality of that hit home in Humboldt last week when a man allegedly tried to kill his wife while in their home.
That case has everyone talking. Everyone is an expert on what happened that night, in that home, it seems, though they were not there. Everyone is not just willing, but eager to talk about it, and why they think it happened, even if they have never met the family involved.
What is not being mentioned, however, is that the rest of the time, when the juice has run out of the gossip, no one wants to talk about people suffering in their own homes, at the hands of people who are supposed to love them.
People don't want to hear about children suffering, about adults that are trapped, with no option but to live in a state of perpetual fear. They don't want to hear about the fights that occur between spouses because they've both been drinking all day, or how a bunch of kids went to bed without eating all day because they were being punished, or because no one was sober enough to go buy groceries.
They don't want to hear about any of that. Because it's something that no one wants to acknowledge. Domestic violence is something that we, as prairie folk, have always turned a blind eye to.
It's none of our business, we tell ourselves when we see a woman with massive and suspicious looking bruises. It's none of our business when a kid will avoid going home at all costs.
It's none of our business. It's how we sleep at night.
Even when it's happening right in front of us, many prefer not to open their eyes to see it.
In all truth, no one wants to see that sort of thing among their friends, their neighbours, in their community. No one wants to see it. But if we don't look, we can't deal with it. And if we don't deal with it, it won't go away.
One day, hopefully, we won't be able to see it because there will be nothing there to see.
We cannot say that now.
It is there.
And maybe now is the time we should do something about it.
Denial sure doesn't seem to be working. We need to try confrontation.
If you think a child is being hurt at home, say something. Do something. If you think your co-worker missed work not because she was sick, but because she was beaten by her spouse, say something. Do something. If you think your buddy is being emotionally abused, or even physically punished, by someone in the home, say something. Do something.
Don't sweep it under the rug. There's enough crap under there already. It's time to really start cleaning house.
Let's throw domestic violence out the door.
The first step is acknowledging it's in the room.
