NHL:
So much for my predictions.
Ok, my Habs are far better than I thought but losing Markov-again-will not be pretty having just traded hulking defenseman Ryan O'Byrne. What's with Chicago? The dreaded salary cap may have forced them into re-signing Bobby Hull and Stan Makita and simply paying their salaries with new dentures and hair transplants.
Losing Byfuglien, or whatever his name is, was gonna hurt, but the Hawks are so deep in the toilet they'll need Roto-Rooter to get them back in form. New Jersey is in more trouble then my son is for his latest teenage antics. Devil's Ilya Kovalchuk is playing with his tail between his legs and the pressure of the massive contract is a burden he will have to learn to live with. Personally, I could withstand a lot of booing for 100 million bucks but fanning on a recent shootout made him look like the valium is not working.
The Leafs arewellthe Leafs and I relish in their misery and on the topic of misery, my friends that cheer for the Bruins better stock up on Kleenex after my Habs thrashed them at home before Ottawa rolled into town and shut them out. Tim Thomas is like the Great Wall of China and Zdeno Chara should be playing in a different league but they have even more on their mind in terms of a roster shuffle when Marc Savard comes back from his 29th concussion. One more head injury and he won't know which net to shoot at.
Am I alone in the desire for a Mafia style hit on the Ranger's hoodlum Sean Avery?
CFL:
As usual Durant had all of us with pacemakers with our fingers on the speed dial for a defribulator. Regina local boy Jason Clermont finally sent the Lions packing, but not until Durant had overthrown him about 11 times. The B.C. Lions came to play and Lulay looks like the real deal, but then so did Casey Printers a few years back. Coach and GM Wally Buono might consider firing himself as coach and focusing on one role, but then again his hair can't get any whiter.
I think Calgary will kill us.
Hamilton's turnovers cost them any shot at beating their hated rivals from Toronto, but does it really matter? Calvillo is drooling like a vampire at a blood donor's clinic and Montreal is truly lethal in all aspects of the game.
Cleo Lemon is a lemon so I'd take Montreal by 30 points.
NFL:
Tom Brady out-dueled my Steelers and for that I may fly to New England to shave his locks. Quarterbacks are not supposed to be GQ models and still embarrass the league's toughest defence.
Another QB that is ruffling my feathers is Denver's Kyle Orton, who I bad-mouthed with more vitriol and passion than I did when my ex-wife left with half of my record collection. He started out by playing better than Brady then as predicted, fell on his strangely bearded face. He looks like a Quaker driving a horse-drawn buggy, but roared back last week with four TD passes. Sadly his Broncos have as much chance at post-season success as the hapless Lions who just set an NFL record for consecutive road losses.
Peyton Manning did just enough to keep the Colts in the mix, but baby brother Eli fell victim to the Cowboys giving Dallas their first win under new coach Jason Garrett.
Back to the topic of strange beards, Randy Moss is already sulking in Tennessee after his one catch in a loss to the Dolphins.
Favre rebounded from a career best performance last week to throw another three interceptions and is looking like my buddy from Regina Beach who just had hip surgery. He won't quit in mid-season but his coach might.
After the Redskins signed DonavonMcNabb to a five-year $78 million extension, Eagles QB Mike Vickput on astatistical display for the ages as Philly manhandled Washington. Vick happens to be a free agent this off-season. Anyone interested in Minnesota?
NBA:
It gives me great pleasure to see Lebron James lose and to see my Lakers off to a fast start. Canadian hero Steve Nash and his wife just celebrated the birth of their child by getting divorced. Now that's what I call taking a loss hard and Nash still has the worst hair in the NBA.
Plenty of young stars keep the league eternally evolving as dinosaurs like Shaquille O'Neal cling to roster spots while thrilling point guards like Washington Wizard John Wall are tearing up the league. After being last year's first overall draft pick, Wall is everything the experts thought he would be - including a vicious trash talker.
Oklahoma grad Blake Griffin is a 610? power forward that is going to be a force in the NBA for years to come - even in the obscurity of the L.A. Clippers. He'll give you nearly 20 points and 10 rebounds a game.
