Well, no one called me names, but I definitely didn't get to play any reindeer drinking games.
Even so, Operation Red Nose was the most fun I've had volunteering since I volunteered for the Gemini Awards.
In order to volunteer, I had to go to the Battlefords Boys and Girls Club, pick up a piece of paper stating I would be a volunteer, take it to City Hall where I was given a piece of paper stating the City would cover the cost of my criminal record check, which I then had to take to the RCMP detachment, where they asked me to fill out another piece of paper and then told to me to return in three days to pick up one last piece of paper.
This turned out to be the hardest part of volunteering for Operation Red Nose.
The first night I volunteered I wasn't able to stay the whole night, but I still did see quite a bit of action.
Shawn Hewitt, who was organizing the Operation Red Nose effort, explained the basics.
He informed us volunteers that we wouldn't be using our own vehicles, which was a relief, because I don't mind donating my time, but donating super-expensive gas would suck.
Instead, the nice folks at Valley Ford, Scott Campbell Dodge, Bridges Pontiac, Rainbow Toyota and North Battleford Hyundai took turns loaning vehicles. This was pretty cool in itself, because it gave us the opportunity to test drive some cars, minivans and even a Hummer! I felt just like Arnold Schwartzenegger. Except I didn't blow anything up.
Shawn laid down some ground rules; "customers" could not ride in the loaner vehicles, they could only ride in their own vehicle and if anyone became offensive or violent, we would just stop the car, toss them their keys and hop into the loaner vehicle, which would be following behind.
Other than that, we were instructed to have fun.
My first night started off with what Shawn called "bar hopping." Wearing our red vests and red noses, we went to several pubs and bars, handing out our calling cards and informing everyone of our free service.
Drunk people can be very funny when you're sober, in an awkward kind of way.
Me: "We'll drive you home in your own vehicle for free!"
Drunk guy: "How bout you come home with me."
Me: "Uh, no thanks."
Part way through our bar hopping session, I had to take off my Rudolph nose, because it smelled like China. Or rather, it smelled like most things stamped with "Made in China" - toxic. I'm not sure if lead intoxication counts as driving under the influence, but if it does, I broke the law.
After we hit all the bars we could think of, we went back to the "operations base," the Lions Hall, where we got to know one another and played some original board games.
I think Shawn put it best when he said, "Not only are we meeting new and interesting people, but everyone that volunteers has a common thread: we are volunteer-minded, socially conscious people that can rally for a great cause and have a good time in the process."
The first night, I ended up going on only one drive before I had to leave. The people we picked up from the Western Development Museum were almost disappointingly polite (I imagined a troupe of staggering drunks) and they gave a generous donation to the Battlefords Boys and Girls Club.
The second night I volunteered, I managed to coerce a friend, Wayne, into volunteering with me, even though he had to work the next morning.
We didn't go home until a little after three in the morning, so I'm sure he was cursing my name the following day.
He wasn't even impressed with the Hummer.
I was tired too, and I'm fairly certain I fell asleep in a puddle of my own drool when I did a stint as phone operator while the others were out giving rides. Every time the phone rang, I had to remember where I was.
Even so, the second night ended up being my favourite, not only because I cajoled Wayne into coming, but because we had PIZZA!!!
Kelly Murdoch of Yellow Submarine showed up with a ton of pizza and a funny little oven that, once we got it to work, heated the pizzas to perfection.
In between serving slices, Kelly also volunteered as a driver.
It was a good thing so many drivers showed up, because we were inundated with calls that night. I think the grand total of donations for the night was around $500.
The vast majority of customers were polite, but a couple were too polite. I was bear-hugged by two very drunk people who smelled very strongly of alcohol.
I hope the kids at the club know what I went through for them.
But in all seriousness, the Battlefords Boys and Girls Club is a wonderful part of our community, and I was happy to do something for them.
Sheri Woolridge, BBGC executive director, said this year's Operation Red Nose raised between $3,500 and $4,000, adding the final tally hasn't come in yet.
"I'm very pleased with it, but I'm more pleased that we were able to provide a service to the community," she said.
Sheri added she hopes there will be an even bigger turn-out for next year's Operation Red Nose.
Shawn suggested businesses could challenge each other to see who could gather the most volunteers. He also thanked the supporters of this year's Operation Red Nose: SaskTel, Sobey's, Alumi-Glass Service, Ron Crush, Super 8 Motel, the aforementioned car dealerships and, of course, the super awesome volunteers!
I can hardly wait to be a reindeer next year, and I just know Trent, Becky and John will be over-joyed to join me!!!!
(Hopefully they don't read this last sentence before it goes to press)
SIDEBAR
Operation Red Nose - By the numbers
91 - number of rides provided in the Battlefords
63 - number of ORD volunteers in the Battlefords
55, 381 - number of ORD volunteers Canada-wide
81, 022 - number of rides given Canada-wide
0 - number of other communities in Saskatchewan who participated in ORD (that's us, Saskatchewan's finest!)
40,000 - number of dollars Shawn hopes to raise next year for the Battlefords Boys and Girls Club.
