Nicole Burns has been living with HIV and Hepatitis C since June 19, 2009.
Her test results were the hardest things she had ever had to hear, but she has been able to overcome her diagnosis and has started speaking out about her story.
Burns was a speaker at a workshop entitled, HIV: How You Can Help. Creating an Understanding of the Spiritual, Mental, Emotional and Physical Aspects of Health. Held in North Battleford Friday, Sept. 6. The workshop was sponsored by BTC Indian Health Services Inc. in partnership with Prairie North Health Region and Kanaweymik.
Burns said she was working in Fort MacMurray when, after a six-week wait, she reported to the hospital for results of an HIV test.
"I was in there by myself," said Burns. "One of the nurses came in and told me I was HIV and Hep C positive and just walked out and left me there."
Burns said she didn't know what to think or feel.
"I guess I thought the care providers are supposed to be there when something like that is presented."
She said she was embarrassed by what they had just told her, and embarrassed because everyone had seen her file, so she went back to camp, where she worked as a rock truck driver.
Distressed by her diagnosis, she began using drugs again. She had been an active user for numerous years, she said. She became more isolated, dealing with the stigma of being HIV positive.
She became even more set against treatment after eight months of looking after her common-law husband as he died of AIDS.
"I stayed there with him every day and I basically watched my own death in front of me. So it was really hard dealing with that," she said. "I figured, I'm not going to take any pills, what's that going to do, just look at my common-law, he just died. I didn't want to take medication."
But, she said, the people who are now her support system reached out to her.
"Everybody kept looking for me and kept asking, so I figured I might as well take the time because they took the time to look for me."
She met with them and started asking questions and talking about the medications. Then she started taking treatment, although she'd said she never would.
"I went through three different regimens," she said. "The ones I am on now are helping me."
Five years ago Burns did her last drug and she's been clean ever since. She has participated in Healthysask awareness videos about three years ago, but it continues to be a struggle.
"I wake up every morning and think that I've done this to myself. I have to deal with this on a daily basis." she said, and she takes things day by day.
"Now I live just for today," she said, "I don't want to make plans for the future because I don't know if I have a future."
She lives with her parents and daughter and they support her when she tells her story.
"I'm trying to go out, to be a strong person, to talk about my story, and let people know that we're still here, we're still human."
As she deals with her HIV, she is also working toward reconciling with her two sons. She was able to get her daughter back a year ago.
"I'm hoping to get my boys back soon. But it was mostly like all this was pushed on them and it was hard to explain to them how hard this was on me, and to explain to them that I'm still here trying to be there for them."
Burns said, "I've made so many mistakes in my life and I'm trying so hard to change my life around to be a better person and to make it through life dealing with this disease."
"All I can do is just live one day at a time and hope things get better. And I know they will."
Other presenters at the workshop attended by 120 people were José Pruden, director of mental health and additions at BTC Indian Health Services, and Kent Lindgren, HIV project co-ordinator for the Battlefords Family Health Centre. Also presenting were Leslie-Ann Smith of First Nations and Inuit Health Branch of Health Canada and infectious disease specialist Dr. Stuart Skinner.
The president of the Canadian Association of Nurses in AIDS Care, Scott Harrison, also spoke, as did Darlene Arnault, health director at Ahtahkakoop Reserve.
The workshop was organized in response to Saskatchewan's high rates of HIV, the highest in the country. The intent was to provide information in order to help professionals from all areas of health care as well as the community work with clients effectively and compassionately.
Organizers said the high rate of transmission, coupled with tremendous advancements in treatment and medications for people with HIV, means more people will live with HIV for a longer time. It is no longer only those providing direct HIV care or emergency services that need to be knowledgeable about HIV. Social workers, home care workers, counsellors, dieticians, pharmacists, chiropractors, dental practitioners and other professionals need to lean about working with people with HIV.
