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The Ruttle Report - When your 'little bro' isn't so little anymore

As we get older, our perspectives can - and do - change on our relatives
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Although the number of siblings in the Ruttle family is officially seven, I grew up in a household where there were three of us.

Dad was married before he met my mom, and that's where my four older brothers and sisters came in first. After his first wife Carol passed away in 1979, Dad met Lynda Dallas and they were eventually married in September 1982. It wasn't long before the three other Ruttle boys came into the picture, starting with Perry, me next in the lineup, and then Brendon wrapping things up.

Growing up, we all had our roles and our own distinct personalities, which of course was bound to happen, particularly in a household such as ours. And as the years went on, opinions and judgements were formed, and the way that you looked at others became the normal, standard way of viewing them. For example, in my eyes, Brendon was my little brother and I put him in that 'little brother box'. He was someone who was younger than me, and so being the older brother (or is that 'caveman'?) that I was, I simply put him in that box. "He's my younger brother, so he's not gonna know more than me, and I'm gonna be the one who'll have to bail him out a time or two in his life." You know, that kind of ridiculous thought process.

Like any family members, we had our ups and downs throughout the years. There was a time in our teens where Brendon and I would argue like crazy, and it would eventually lead to physical fighting. Hey, what can I say, we were young boys looking to get out aggression, and the most convenient targets were each other. I can vividly remember a Ruttle family trip out to Calgary one summer. Mom and my sister-in-law were in a store shopping and Brendon and I were out in the van. Sure enough, it wasn't all that long before an argument over God-knows-what broke out, and it got physical. Brendon grabbed the top of my head and was trying to pull my hair out for all it was worth, and at that moment I just had enough. I tore open the van door, stepped outside, and I was ready to just walk away from it all. I had just had enough of this BS.

Mom and Daniela came out of the store, they saw that I was upset, and Mom pulled me away so that it was just the two of us talking. I simply told her that I couldn't be in the same room, let alone inside the same vehicle as Brendon. I just needed some space. So, at Mom's suggestion, they dropped me off at a mall in downtown Calgary so I could go to the movies. "Just take a few hours and be by yourself, it'll do you some good." And you know what? It did.

I don't know when our constant fighting stopped, but I'm glad it did. I guess it was just one of those stupid phases that some siblings go through to get it out of your systems. We matured, and the years continued to roll on.

And then as those years continued to move forward, my stubborn and outdated older brother perspective on Brendon changed. I want to say it was around the time that our dad passed away at the end of the summer in 2013. At the time, my mom owned the bar in Conquest which was known then as Ma's Tavern. Brendon would lend her a hand down at the pub every now and then, whether it be sweeping floors or stacking boxes of recyclable bottles out back, or helping unload when the beer truck would come in for a delivery in order to stock up the cooler. Being such a consistent presence every time Mom would be manning the bar, Brendon earned himself a nickname, Bouncer.

When Dad died in August of that year, a family friend by the name of Stan Wyatt (RIP Stan, we're all still thinking of you) came over to the house one evening with a proposal. What would Brendon think about a job over at the John Deere in Outlook? Well, he and my mom both thought that was just fine. It would help him gain some more experience of being out in the working world, and of course the paycheck would be nice. Not long after Brendon started, I can remember Mom asking him how things were going. He said that he loved it and was really enjoying getting to know everybody and how things worked. It was a home run.

That's when I noticed a change in Brendon. He had really grown up, and he was maturing so much. He's been working at Western Sales now for nine years and he still very much enjoys it. I have to say, I've really enjoyed watching him grow into the man he is today.

Something else that I think has drawn Brendon and I closer is the fact that Mom passed away early last year. For the longest time, it was the three of us living in the house in Conquest, and then the matriarch of the family left us far, far too soon and abruptly. Now that it was the two of us, that meant that we were now in charge of everything to do with the household. But aside from that, I think we became closer simply because we had lost our mom and we were both searching for an avenue for our emotional outlets.

Take this summer, for instance. Brendon and I really enjoyed the itinerary we set out for ourselves. Whether it was seeing some cheesy horror movies at the Manitou Beach drive-in theater, or an incredible day up at Candle Lake, or taking in a Rider game in Regina, or the few days we spent out in Calgary, it was all a blast and I think we both made some memories. There's a self-portrait photo that I took of the two of us up at Candle that's been my Facebook profile picture for a few weeks, and I've come to love that photo. I look at it and think, "Here are two men who went through the wringer together as kids, and now they're making memories at a place that means the world to both of them."

I've watched Brendon grow up into an outstanding young man; a man who's funny, caring, and smarter with his finances than both Perry and I combined. He's a guy who I'm proud to call my brother, and while I surely wouldn't say this when I was a teenager, today I can say that I'd go to Hell and back for him.

Mom and Dad would be so proud to see the person he's become today. I know my siblings and I are.

It's also his birthday this coming Friday, so Happy Birthday, bro!

For this week, that's been the Ruttle Report.

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