聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 The names of the days in a week are for the most part based on Norse mythology and astrology, as in the sun and the moon.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Sunnudagr was the old Norse name, S酶ndag in Norwegian and the English language is spot on with Sunday, as the meaning is Sun Day.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Ole, a Lutheran pastor and Sven a church elder, were in the church yard early one Sunday morning, pounding in a stake with a sign on it that in big black letters read, 鈥淭he End is Near. Turn Yourself Around Before It Is Too Late.鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 They鈥檇 just finished pounding in the sign when a yuppie drove by in his BMW convertible, and yelled as he sped by, 鈥淣ot today. I鈥檓 busy.鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Just after he disappeared around the curve in the road, they heard tires screeching, followed by a loud swear, and then a big splash. Ole and Sven looked at each other, and Ole said,
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淧erhaps we should change the sign to read, 鈥楥aution! Bridge Out,鈥� instead?鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Igor, Sam, and Ole were having a discussion on a Sunday afternoon, and the topic of the space race came up.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淲e were the first in space,鈥� said Igor who is a Russian.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淏e that as it may, but we were the first to land and walk on the moon,鈥� said Sam the American.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淪o what, we鈥檙e going to be the first to land on the sun,鈥� said Ole.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Igor and Sam looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Then Sam looked at Ole and said, 鈥淎re you crazy? You can鈥檛 land on the sun, its too hot, you鈥檒l burn up.鈥澛犅犅犅犅犅犅犅犅�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淥h ya, we鈥檙e not stupid you know, of course we鈥檒l go at night,鈥� said Ole.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 M谩nadagr was the Norse name, in Norwegian it is called Mandag and in English Monday, meaning Moon Day.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Ole and Sven were sitting on a park bench in Saskatoon one night talking. Ole asked Sven, 鈥淲hat do you think is closer, Vancouver or the moon?鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Sven looked at Ole, then up at the moon, shook his head and said, 鈥淗ello? Can you see Vancouver?鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 T媒sdagr is today called Tirsdag for the Norwegians and Tuesday in all the English speaking countries, meaning Tyr鈥檚 Day (Norse god of war).
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Sven had an interview last Tuesday for a new job as an in-store furniture salesman.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淧lease tell me what you feel is your worst quality,鈥� said the manager.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淲ell, I鈥檓 probably too honest,鈥� said Sven.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淭hat鈥檚 not a bad thing. I think being honest is a good thing,鈥� said the manager.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淚 don鈥檛 give a rat鈥檚 ass what you think,鈥� said Sven.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 脫冒insdagr was the Norse name for what we in Canada call Wednesday, Onsdag in Norwegian, meaning Odin鈥檚 Day.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 During their regular Wednesday meeting at the local bar, Ole and Sven were discussing the amount of control they had over their wives, while Karl remained quiet looking at them. Then they both looked at Karl, and Ole said, 鈥淲hat sort of control do you have over your wife Karl?鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淲ell, the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees,鈥� said Karl.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淲ow, what happened?鈥� said Sven, totally amazed.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淪he looked me square in the eyes and demanded that I come out from under the bed and fight like a man,鈥� said Karl.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 脼贸rsdagr is in North America called Thursday, Norwegians call it Torsdag, meaning Thor鈥檚 Day, Thor being the Norse god of thunder.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 It was a beautiful sunny Thursday, when Sven who was touring Britain in a rented Range Rover, screeched to a halt in the middle of Warwickshire Village. He rolled down his window and asked the local farmer, 鈥淓xcuse me sir, am I on the right road to Shakespeare鈥檚 birthplace?鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淪traight ahead sir, but no need to hurry. He鈥檚 dead,鈥� said the farmer.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Frj谩dagr, in Norwegian it is Fredag and in English it is called Friday, and is named in honour of Frigg, the goddess wife of Odin.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 One nice Friday before the long weekend, Lena was stopped by an RCMP officer conducting a check stop. He asked to see Lena鈥檚 driver鈥檚 license, and upon close examination of the license, the officer said, 鈥淚t states here on your license that you are required to wear glasses when driving. I鈥檒l have to issue you a ticket, and you need to have somebody come and drive your car home.鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淚 have contacts,鈥� said Lena.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淚 don鈥檛 care who you know. I still have to give you a ticket,鈥� said the officer.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Laugardagr, in Norwegian L酶rdag, which in English is called Saturday, and is Bath Day. The old Norsemen treated themselves to weekly baths before congregating in the Viking village鈥檚 communal halls for the weekend revelry.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Ole lived in Mexico, and used to cross the border into the United States on a regular basis. But had to stop when Donald Trump became President of the US. However, when they started excavating for the wall, Ole again started to cross the border, but only on Saturdays.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Each time he crossed with a wheelbarrow full of dirt. The US border guards stopped him every time, demanded his passport, and sifted through the dirt in search of any contraband. They never found anything and waived him through. Sven, a good friend of Ole, asked him what he was doing crossing the border every Saturday with a wheelbarrow full of dirt.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淢y cousin owns a hardware store across the border, and I smuggle wheelbarrows to him once a week.鈥澛�
