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The Ruttle Report - The Fun That Comes with Fear

If you鈥檙e anything like me, you both love and hate being scared. I know, it鈥檚 a weird sort of love/hate relationship.

If you鈥檙e anything like me, you both love and hate being scared.

I know, it鈥檚 a weird sort of love/hate relationship.

But at the same time, it鈥檚 fun, isn鈥檛 it?聽 That JOLT that comes with someone jumping out at you, or that jump tactic that modern horror movies use in some scenes.聽 Your bones momentarily separate from your skin, your heart starts pumping quick, and it鈥檚 immediately followed by that come-down period where your legs are a little weak, but you smile because it鈥檚 over.

At least for now, or at least until someone has thought up another tactic designed to separate you from the control of your bladder.

That鈥檚 the fun that comes with fear, and it鈥檚 like a hyper-sensitive feeling that lets you know you鈥檙e alive.

With Halloween just a few days away, it鈥檚 tough to ignore what the season has come to typically represent; ghosts and goblins, vampires and werewolves, and all the horrors of the night.聽 Well, maybe I鈥檓 showing my age by describing it with those beloved characters, but that was Halloween for me when I was a kid.聽 These days it seems to be all about dressing up as the latest Marvel characters or even a particular image that 鈥渨ent viral鈥 on the Web.

Call me old-fashioned, but I鈥檓 all about terror and nightmarish costumes and imagery when it comes to Halloween.

What鈥檚 so scary about Thor, Iron Man and Captain America, anyway?聽 Aside from those movies being 鈥渟carily鈥 predictable and formulaic?

No, for me, October 31 belongs to the creatures and monsters of the night.聽 Give me Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers over any of the Avengers.

I guess it goes without saying that I鈥檓 pretty desensitized these days, but obviously that wasn鈥檛 always the case.聽 There were things that scared me as a kid, and one of them was actually pretty ridiculous in hindsight.

When I was about 7 or 8 years old, I was terrified of a VHS cover.聽 Yup, you read that right.聽 The box artwork for a videotape was enough to stop my blood cold and keep me up at night, sometimes even calling for Jack or Lynda to come and soothe my frayed nerves.

This was back when the D&E convenience store in Outlook rented out VHS tapes and had them sorted by category.聽 You had 鈥楥omedy鈥 and 鈥楧rama鈥 in different parts of the rack, and sure enough, 鈥楬orror鈥 had its own section.

The section that happened to be closest to the pop coolers.聽 Because OF COURSE it was.

If I wanted to grab a Coke, I had to either have tunnel vision to avoid looking at *that* tape or I鈥檇 go without one.聽 That, or I鈥檇 actually ask my mom or dad to go into the store with me so they could block the horror movie section.

For those who knew my father, he wasn鈥檛 exactly the movie-renting type, and the only thing he really went into the D&E for was 6/49 tickets, so you could imagine the incredulous look he鈥檇 get on his face when I proposed that he act as my bodyguard against a small, rectangular piece of pressed cardboard.

鈥淵ou want me to WHAT?鈥

鈥淚t鈥檚 a tape I don鈥檛 like looking at, Dad!鈥

鈥淲ell then DON鈥橳 look at it!聽 And get ME a Coke while you鈥檙e at it!鈥

Only I couldn鈥檛 avoid looking at it whenever I stepped into the D&E; it just drew my eyes in.聽 Like how one can鈥檛 avoid looking at a car crash, my young eyes were reeled in to the freaky artwork adorned on this VHS box.

So I can hear you asking, what movie was it?聽 What horror flick had VHS cover art that burned itself into my young brain and terrorized me?

Look no further than everyone鈥檚 favorite dream-stalking, fedora-wearing, blade-fingered mass murderer himself, Freddy Krueger.聽 Specifically, Mr. Krueger鈥檚 third cinematic outing, which was entitled, 鈥楢 Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors鈥.

The artwork shows a handful of teenagers standing on the blades of Freddy鈥檚 glove like as if they鈥檙e being served up to him, but what freaked me out about it the most were his eyes; wide, glaring, and monstrous in every way.聽 It was like Freddy was staring right through me, and it always felt like those eyes were on me the second I would walk into the D&E.

Eventually, the D&E stopped carrying VHS tapes and did away with the horror flicks, so my young psyche was spared from any further emotional punishment.聽 Funnily enough, these days I rank 鈥楨lm Street 3鈥 as one of my favorite horror movies.

It鈥檚 funny what can scare us as kids.聽 I guess the fine folks who made the Freddy movies overdid it by scaring a kid before he even watched the movie itself.

Have fun this coming Halloween, whatever you鈥檙e doing and however you celebrate it.

Me, I鈥檓 taking the Justin Trudeau approach when it comes to trick-or-treaters 鈥 the candy will hand out itself.

For this week, that鈥檚 been the Ruttle Report.

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