聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 I am eagerly anticipating the new Rogue One: A Star Wars Story movie set to come out in under a month鈥檚 time. But does anyone else think that the trailers these days give out simply too much information? From watching the trailers, this is what I have determined so far. By the way, there鈥檚 no point in saying 鈥渟poiler alert,鈥� since this is pretty much entirely gleaned from watching all the domestic and international trailers. Here goes:
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 A little girl鈥檚 genius father is impressed (or kidnapped into military service unwillingly) by the Empire to design the super-laser for the Death Star. He tells her that whatever he does, he does for her. Mom gives her a crystal on a necklace and says, 鈥淭rust the force.鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Mom is likely killed. Dad is taken. She grows up an unruly orphan who gets in trouble with the law.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 The Death Star is nearing completion. Her father sends a message out about this and its terrible power. The message is intercepted by the Rebels.聽 There鈥檚 a new major weapons test imminent, and they need to know what it is and how to destroy it.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 The Rebellion recruits the girl into their scheme, as since Dad sent the message, she is their best chance at getting him to spill the beans about its secrets. She鈥檚 brought to Yavin IV, the secret Rebel base Darth Vader was seeking in the first movie. There she鈥檚 formally asked to join and given her orders, since maybe she can get crucial information from its principle designer.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 In the meantime, others are recruited for the mission (Think Blues Brothers: We鈥檙e getting the band back together, except for the first time). Spies, mercenaries, assassins, and their ilk are recruited. One tough guy questions if the girl has the guts to carry through.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Something very important comes from a desert planet where there鈥檚 a city built on a mountain plateau just like Masada. It has a big skinny pyramid that looks like other Jedi temples. 聽 Star Destroyers frequent the city, and it crawls with Stormtroopers. This planet once had statues the size of the river statues in Fellowship of the Ring, but of Jedi. Those statues are now toppled. It鈥檚 probably something to do with the technology in the Jedi light sabers, i.e. the crystals in it. Remember the crystal necklace? It comes into play here. The crystals are probably the key component in the Death Star super-laser. Rebels try to figure out what鈥檚 going on and get into a street fight.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Darth Vader shows up. The bad guy in white shows off his new toy to him. Expect Vader to order the eradication of the city and its large Jedi temple to tie up loose ends or to punish them for harbouring the rebels. The Death Star shows up and blasts the entire mountain from orbit with one shot. Weapons test complete. The good guys get away just in time.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 The girl, now highly motivated by her father鈥檚 reappearance in her life, tells Rebel council, 鈥淩ebellions are built on hope!鈥� She rallies the troops and leads a mission to find a weakness in the Death Star by finding Dad first.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Dear old Dad is working on some dark planet with a secret imperial base and still working on the Death Star. He is menaced by the bad guy in white who kidnapped him 15 years or so before. The crew goes undercover to rescue Dad and/or steal the plans. A small battle ensues. Dad probably dies and tells the daughter to get her hands on the plans.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Without Dad, the Rebels go to some tropical planet where the final assembly of the Death Star took place in orbit. They intend to nab the plans, which entails the girl running with them in her hand while all hell breaks loose. AT-AT walkers try to hem them in, but they get away. In the meantime, as a diversion, the Rebel fleet attacks a giant donut space station where Star Destroyers dock, nose-in. A few X-wings lay eyes on the Death Star, but are wiped out before they can report back.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 In the donut battle, the X-wings get their butts handed to them, which explains why there were only about 30 fighters left when the Death Star shows up at Yavin at the end of A New Hope. This might also explain why the fleet of frigates and corvettes, seen in the trailers, were not present at the battle at the end of A New Hope.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 The battle does not go well on the tropical planet for the Rebels.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 The Rebels get away, just barely, from the tropical planet with the plans. Most of her crew wiped out, the girl jumps on a Tie fighter to escape (Nearly all the above came from the trailers but the remainder is an informed guess).
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Vader cuts them off and they are about to get wiped out when they transmit the plans to the Tantive IV, Princess Leia鈥檚 ship. She confirms receiving them (this is the big surprise, not surprise). Rebels are killed. Vader pursues Tantive IV with his star Destroyer seen at the donut. 聽 It catches up with the Tantive IV over Tattooine and opens fire. Credits roll.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 So, does anyone else think the trailers are giving too much away?
