The summer before my last year of high school, my dad insisted that I get a job and contribute to our household expenses. I responded to an advertisement asking for young sales people. My first clue should have been that they hired anybody who showed up for the interview.聽 The second clue would have been that they only asked two questions, first question was your name, and the second question was if you had a shirt and tie.
The first day in my book sales career was a short sales conference. We were shown the books that we would peddle. It was a picture encyclopedia and were told the amount of commission we would be paid. Then we were split into groups of four and introduced to our group leader. Our leader was a strange looking fellow with green slacks, brown jacket, pink shirt with a yellow tie, and white sneakers.
Our group leader loaded us into his old Opel and drove us out into the farm country.聽 During the drive, he gave us the sales pitch to use. He said that at this time of the year the farmers had finished sowing their fields and should have some free time. He told us how to qualify the farmer as a potential customer: our first questions should be if he had any children and how many, and what would be their ages, as the picture encyclopedia was aimed at kids in grammar school.
One of the anticipated objections would be that the children would destroy the books in short order. We were to show how sturdy and well put together to books were by grabbing a page in the middle of the book and shake it to show that it didn鈥檛 rip off. We were each given a sample book, a sales order form, a ball point pen and a soft briefcase to carry it all in.
Our group leader dropped us off at places spread throughout the farm country that we had been assigned to. I wore my grey pants, a white shirt with a red tie, my blue blazer, an umbrella and a jaunty hat. I set out to become the best encyclopedia salesman Norway had ever seen. But alas, no sales the first day. Our group leader picked us up, and on the drive back to Oslo we all told him that we had not been able to make any sales.
We were told to be at the office at 7 a.m. the next morning and then we would be driven back to the same area. I was all gung ho and couldn鈥檛 wait to try this again. The morning went by with no sales. Then I saw a farmhouse with a couple of small bikes outside, and I figured it would be a good prospect. Instead of walking along the road, I decided to take a short cut across a pasture. I climbed the fence and strode off towards the farm house. That鈥檚 when I heard something behind me. I looked, and saw a cow trotting towards me. I started to run, so did the cow.
I quickly climbed an old oak tree. There I was, a dapperly dressed young salesman, sitting on a tree branch with my briefcase, umbrella and my jaunty hat, with a cow below looking lovingly at me with her big wet eyes. Fortunately, the farmer saw me and came to my rescue. He held the cow while I climbed out of the tree. The cow鈥檚 name was Dagros, and he told me she just loved being with people, and that she would never hurt me. I petted Dagros, as she google-eyed me while licking her nostrils with her long tongue.
The farmer wondered why I had cut across the pasture. I introduced myself and proudly told him that I was here to make school easier for his children. He invited me in for a cup of coffee and to show him how I could make things easier for his kids. I went through the sales pitch on how it was easier and more captivating for the children to use this picture encyclopedia as compared to any other on the market. As expected, his objection was that his children might destroy the books before the school year was over. That鈥檚 when I grabbed the middle page of the book, the same page that I had already used a few times in other demonstrations, held the book by the page in my right hand and said, 鈥淪ir, this book is virtually impossible to destroy.鈥� Then I shook the book by the page, and the page ripped right out and the book crashed to the floor.聽 Being the quick-thinking person that I am, I said without missing a beat, 鈥渁nd if this happens we will of course replace the book.鈥� No sale.
Ole was a travelling salesman and met Lena, the buyer for a large chain of grocery stores.聽 Ole looks at Lena and said, 鈥淒o you know why seagulls are called seagulls?鈥�
Lena thought about for a couple of seconds and said, 鈥淣o I don鈥檛. Please tell me why they are called seagulls.鈥�
鈥淲ell,鈥� said Ole, 鈥渂ecause they fly over the sea. If they flew over the bay they would be called bagels. And that鈥檚 what I鈥檓 selling.鈥�
Sven worked in a gift store and was telling Kari that the jug she held in her hand was genuine Indian pottery. Kari turned it over and said, 鈥淏ut is says 鈥楳ade In Cleveland鈥�.鈥�
Sven smiled and said, 鈥淗aven鈥檛 you heard of the Cleveland Indians?鈥�
