聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 Ole and Lena were doing their Christmas shopping at Steen og Str酶m in Oslo, Norway, which is a large department store like Walmart. They wandered around the store together, but after a while decided to split up and meet later.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Ole was bored, and for kicks, picked up a demo laptop from electronics and went to the windows and doors section of the store where he asked them to install windows on the laptop.
聽 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 The clerk laughed at him, so he brought the laptop back to electronics. He stopped a clerk and told her in an official tone, 鈥渨e have a code three in sporting goods.鈥� He observed the mayhem that ensued. He went into the men鈥檚 bathroom, and after having done his business, he came running out of there, waving his arms and shouting, 鈥淚t stinks in there!鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Ole kept wandering about in the store, and when he saw the display of alarm clocks, he turned the volume up and reset them to go off at 10-minute intervals.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 A female clerk smiled at Ole and asked if she could be of assistance. Ole looked at her, then started to cry and said, 鈥淲hy won鈥檛 you people just leave me alone?鈥� Then he ran away.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 As he was running, he came up on another male, tapped him on the shoulder and yelled, 鈥淭ag, you鈥檙e it!鈥� He turned down the next aisle.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 He walked into the sporting goods department where he asked the clerk to show him a Remington pump action shotgun. While examining the gun closely, his eyebrows knitted together. He closed his eyes and started to mumble to himself, then he opened his eyes and stared at the clerk while drooling and faking head spasms, asking if he knew where he could get some anti-depressants.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 In the meantime, Lena, the down-to-earth practical and frugal person that she is, had been busy buying all kinds of useful household presents for their children and educational toys for their grandchildren. She had a budget, and being the smart shopper that she is, she was able to stay well within the total that she and Ole allotted for presents.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Ole still had a need to amuse himself, so when he saw a security camera, he stood in front of it pretending that it was a mirror, and started to pick his teeth. He proceeded to the men鈥檚 clothing section and crouched down in the middle of a circular rack holding men鈥檚 pants in various colour and sizes. Whenever a shopper would look at a pair of pants, Ole would say in a loud voice, 鈥淔art-proof fabric, guaranteed to keep the rip contained!鈥� The department manager chased Ole out of the clothing section.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 He noticed some people behind him while walking down a narrow aisle, so he slowed down almost to a standstill while singing all the verses of Silent Night, swaying from side to side.
聽 聽聽聽聽聽 The people glared at Ole, but in keeping with the spirit of Christmas, nobody complained.
聽 聽聽聽聽聽聽 Ole continued to the information desk. He waited in line for 20 minutes, and when it was his turn he asked the clerk if she could please tell him how to get to the North Pole, because he wanted to meet Santa and Rudolph. The clerk told Ole to get lost or she would call security.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Ole had brought with him a pair of glasses with thick lenses. He put them on, snuggled up to a female mannequin and cooed, 鈥淲here have you been baby? I鈥檝e been looking all over for you!鈥� Then he started embracing and kissing her. This drew a crowd and the department manager again chased him out of the clothing section. Ole grabbed a stuffed teddy bear and went to the furniture department where he curled up on a bed, sucking his thumb and calling in a high-pitched voice for his mother to come and tuck him in.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Ole got up off the bed and walked around looking for his wife. She, however, was nowhere to be seen. He stopped a very beautiful woman that was passing by. 鈥淓xcuse me,鈥� said Ole, 鈥渂ut I鈥檝e lost my wife in this big store, so can you please talk to me for a couple of minutes?鈥澛�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淲hy would I want to do that?鈥� asked the woman.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淲ell,鈥� said Ole, 鈥渨henever I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere, and here is Lena now, thank you very much!鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Ole and Lena were getting ready for Christmas and were cleaning out the junk drawer.
聽 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 They came across a repair stub from the shoemaker. The date stamp showed that it was 10 years old. They laughed and tried to remember which one of them had forgotten about the pair of shoes taken to the shoemaker for repairs a decade ago. 鈥淒o you think the shoes will still be in the shop?鈥� asked Ole.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淣ot very likely,鈥� said Lena.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淚t鈥檚 worth a try,鈥� said Ole, pocketing the stub. He went downstairs, got into his car, and drove to the store. He calmly handed the stub to the shoemaker.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Politely without a smile the shoemaker said, 鈥淛ust a minute. I鈥檒l have to look for these.鈥�
聽 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop. Two minutes later, the shoemaker called out, 鈥淗ere they are!鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淣o kidding?鈥� Ole called back. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 terrific! Who would have thought they鈥檇 still be here after all this time?鈥� The shoemaker returned to the counter, empty-handed.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淚 hope you鈥檙e not in a rush,鈥� said the shoemaker with a straight face. 鈥淭hey鈥檒l be ready next Thursday!鈥澛�
