聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 Happy New Year everybody! I bet that most of you have made a New Year鈥檚 resolution to shed a few pounds, and being physically active ought to be a major part of that. Skiing would be a great activity in an effort to burn off a lot of calories. Here in the prairies there are only limited opportunities for any alpine skiing, other than the new fad of 鈥渉orse skiing.鈥� Horse skiing is where a cowboy riding a horse in full gallop tows a slalom skier behind him. It is great fun until the skier hits a few frozen lumps of 鈥減rocessed鈥� oats, causing him to snap out of the bindings and come to a sudden stop on his face.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Ski jumping is impossible in a wheat field, but cross-country skiing is more adaptable to the prairies. The noticeable lack of forest, however, never mind shade trees, can cause Father Winter to blow most of the snow off the fields, and what remains could be harder than glazed steel, so the skier might have to use the freestyle (skating) cross-country skiing technique.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 It can be very cold and blustery here on the prairies, which brings to mind the brave individual who came into a warm-up hut at the end of a cross-country ski trail. A few skiers were in the hut huddled around the potbelly stove rubbing their hands together for warmth. Nobody was saying a word. The newcomer joined them and told them that he was not a skier himself, but he was there to pick up his blonde sweetheart who is an avid cross-country skier. He looked at them and asked if they had heard the joke about the cross-country skier, to which one of the group advised him that he should be careful as they were all cross-country skiers. He looked them all in the eyes and said, 鈥淥K. I鈥檒l tell the joke really slow then.鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 The Canadian Birkebeiner Society at arranges an annual Ski Festival in Strathcona County, Alta., and provides events at various distances and ability of cross-country skiing. This year鈥檚 event is set for February 10 and 11. You can enter any of the distances online. The 55-kilometre event is an endurance distance event and can be skied with or without a pack weighing 5.5 kilograms (or 12 pounds), being the weight of the infant Prince H氓kon H氓konson. More information can be found at .
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Endurance skiing brings to mind the story of the Norwegian artic explorer who had skied to the North Pole and back. He was being interviewed by the Norwegian radio station NRK, and the end of the interview went something like this.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Interviewer: What was the first thing you did when you came home?
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Explorer: Well, I had been longing for my wife鈥檚 company for eight months you know, so I grabbed her, kissed her and carried her off to鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 The interviewer interrupted him as it was a live broadcast and said, 鈥淵eah! OK, OK, we can get to that later, what was the first thing you did?鈥澛�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淟ike I said, I was carrying my wife towards the鈥︹��
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 The interviewer cut him off again and said, 鈥淲ell then, let me ask you what the second thing you did when you got home was?鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淭hen I took off my skis!鈥� 聽聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Hockey is the most popular winter sport in Canada, and I dare say that we produce the majority of all the players in the National Hockey League! All the American teams boast about having Canadians on their roster. Internationally the Canadians are considered to be a powerhouse! I recall my dad taking my brothers and I to a hockey game during the 1952 Olympics in Oslo, Norway. Helmets were not mandatory then, and Canada was playing Poland.聽 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Suddenly a Polish player skated up behind a Canadian and started whacking him over the head with his stick. The Canadian calmly skated to the side away from the other players, dropped his stick, turned around and knocked the Polish player out cold with one punch!
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淢an, those Canadians are really tough!鈥� I thought.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Ole and Sven were watching the world championship game between Sweden and Canada. 鈥淲hat鈥檚 the difference between a boxing match and a hockey game?鈥� asked Ole.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淲ell, that鈥檚 easy,鈥� said Sven, 鈥渋n a hockey game the fights are real!鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 A skunk walks into a bar and sees five guys at a table wearing Toronto Maple Leafs jerseys. The skunk turned to the bartender, nodding his head towards the five guys and said, 鈥淎nd you think I stink?鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 A young physical education teacher explained to the class that he was a Toronto Maple Leafs fan, and asked the students to raise their hands if they were Leafs fans as well. The students were too young to realize what a Leafs fan was, but to please their teacher all but little Johnny raised their hands. Johnny was looking away and not paying any attention to the other students. 鈥淲hat鈥檚 the matter?鈥� the teacher asked Johnny, 鈥渨hy did you not raise your hand?鈥澛� 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淚鈥檓 not a Leafs fan,鈥� answered Johnny.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淲ell then, what are you?鈥� asked the teacher.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淚鈥檓 proud to be a Calgary Flames fan!鈥� boasted little Johnny. The teacher smirked and asked little Johnny why he is a Flames fan.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淲ell,鈥� said Johnny, beaming proudly, 鈥渕y mom and dad are Flames fans, so therefore I鈥檓 a Flames fan too!鈥澛�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 The teacher smiled. 鈥淲ell, that鈥檚 not a good reason!鈥� he said loudly. 鈥淲hat if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron as well, what would you be then?鈥澛�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Johnny paused, then smiled and said, 鈥渢hen I鈥檇 be a Leafs fan!鈥�
