Cincinnati Reds are a team on the fast track to success.
They've started to win championships, have on their roster a pitcher, Aroldis Chapman, who throws faster than any other Major League Baseball player and will likely have Billy Hamilton in their lineup in 2013.
Even if you're a big fan of major league baseball, you likely haven't seen Billy Hamilton. In fact, if you watched some of Hamilton's Double A minor league games at Pensacola last season, you still may not have seen him. He's but a blur on the basepaths, having obliterated professional baseball's stolen base record with an astounding 155.
They call him Blazin' Billy, and the Reds hope he'll patrol their outfield next season, where Reds fans hope to see an array of legend-making plays. Like the one time he caught a fly ball at the warning track, from his original position at shortstop. Like the times he beat out infield hits on routine grounders to second. Like the times he regularly scored from second base on an outfield flyout.
Hamilton reportedly goes from first to second in less than three seconds. Somebody timed him once at 13.8 seconds on an inside-the-park home run, even though he eased up halfway to home when it was obvious there wouldn't be a play at the plate.
When Hamilton gets on first base, minor league pitchers threw fastballs to the next hitter 95 per cent of the time, hoping it might give the catcher a slim hope of preventing a stolen base. And when a good hitter knows a fastball is imminent, he's statistically far more dangerous. A hitter's hitter like Reds' slugger Joey Votto, batting behind a player like Blazin' Billy, might hit .400.
With the likes of Chapman and his 105 MPH fastball on the mound and Blazin' Billy on the basepaths, the Reds are definitely expecting to be living life in the fast lane.
Greg Cote, Miami Herald: "Hidden injuries, switched jersey numbers, intentionally deflated footballs. When USC said they wanted coach Lane Kiffin to set an example, I guess they should have specified what kind of example."
Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on why the President got heckled during a late campaign stop in Cincinnati: "Obama's get-tough-on-crime policy has cost the Bengals half their defence."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "Taylor Swift will write a love column for Seventeen Magazine. She will give advice to the girls. Apparently they are still trying to work out a deal for relationship advice to boys from Tiger Woods."
From Sports Illustrated's Tweet of the Week: 'When I die, I want Tony Romo to be my pallbearer so he can let me down one last time.' - Kenny (Papa Bear).
Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle: "Mike D'Antoni - the only NBA coach with three first names . . . Mike's brother Dan, a Lakers assistant coach, also has three first names, but two of them are "Dan." Do the D'Antoni boys have another brother named Tony?"
R.J Currie of sportsdeke.com: "Don Cherry told the Toronto Sun the material he buys for his suits is probably curtain fabric. Instead of Grapes, should we be calling him Drapes?"
Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: "Arriving online this week: the Mariners' Holiday Gift Guide. Prices range from $7.97 for an M's cuff-knit stocking cap to $8.5 million for a gently-worn Chone Figgins."
And another one from TheOnion.com: "Doctors refuse to clear concussed Michael Vick after he claims Eagles can still make playoffs."
Chad again, on Caltech, known for its brainiac students and losing teams, getting busted by the NCAA: "Banning Caltech from postseason is akin to forbidding Pope Benedict XVI from break-dancing."
Another one from Dickson, after AMF Bowling Worldwide filed for bankruptcy: "Not to worry. If my math is correct, they'll have that paid off as soon as they rent nine more pairs of bowling shoes."
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