I think everyone who, as a kid, once imagined himself as Luke Skywalker or Han Solo thinks of themselves as a really big fan. I know I鈥檝e always thought so. Indeed, for a while there, I thought I might be in the top three percentile of rabid fans.
Not even close.
I鈥檝e never lined up for days, peeing and defecating God-knows-where to wait in line for movie admission. My toy collection was quite modest as a kid, when they were given to me, and never really developed as an adult, when I could buy my own. My house isn鈥檛 decorated in gaudy memorabilia, a fact for which I鈥檓 sure my wife is glad. But I鈥檝e still considered myself a big fan.
In this week leading up to the release of Star Wars The Force Awakens, I have come to humbly realize the Force is very weak in me. It hasn鈥檛 really awakened as much as I鈥檇 like. I blame it on a low midichlorian count. (I would see a specialist about that, but I鈥檓 afraid he鈥檇 tell me there鈥檚 nothing he could do about it.)
I am missing the company Christmas party to take my son to it. My wife and daughter have now, barring some Jedi mind trick, begged off attending the premier with me. I鈥檓 even buying an ad for my photography that will run in the local theatre before the movie starts.
But I have never, ever met someone who out-Star Warsed me like Wade Baldwin.
I first met Wade several years ago, when I profiled him and two other mixed martial arts fighters who worked in the oilpatch. Awesome guy.
His name came up when discussing the premier of the new Star Wars movie with my publishing, with the suggestion that I should do a story on Wade鈥檚 tattoos.
Let鈥檚 just say the Force is strong with this one.
His entire back is covered, shoulder-to-shoulder, neck to waist, in a giant Star Wars tattoo. I鈥檝e never seen anything of the kind before.
There鈥檚 the Death Star II under construction between his shoulder blades. Darth Vader is prominent at the base of his spine. The rest is covered in characters and ships.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 But what鈥檚 56 hours under a needle?
When I visited, I got to meet his one-week-old daughter, Rey. She came a week early. Her due date was a week before the movie premier.
鈥淩ey鈥� also happens to be the name of the heroine in the upcoming movie.
I feel so insignificant in my fandom now. I could have named my kid Luke. Han, might have been a bit harder to slip past my wife, and Leia, equally so. Qui-gon would have been a lot harder, but possible. I wonder how many kids are named Obi-wan each year?
Now, custom-built light sabers and collectible toys may have been out of my reach financially. But naming my kid after a character, that wouldn鈥檛 have cost anything! Why didn鈥檛 I think of that?
(Okay, a divorce lawyer might have cost a nickle or too. But I鈥檇 at least get to see Luke and Leia on weekends and holidays, when we could watch movies together. All six of them.)
No, I won鈥檛 be in costume on December 18. I won鈥檛 have any tattoos, or appropriately-named children with me. I guess I鈥檒l just have to enjoy the movie like a normal person.
